Can Love Be Understood in Brokenness?

Some paths exist not to be smooth, but to reveal misunderstanding. And misunderstanding, when left unseen, can quietly become disconnection. I’ve seen it. I’ve felt it.

Conflict does not always begin where we think it does. Often, it arises from a place much older than the relationship itself—an inner layer that was injured long before another ever walked beside us. These wounds can live hidden, not only from others, but even from ourselves. They shape how we listen, how we react, and how we love.

We can see this reflected in the world around us. Happiness is constantly chased, yet rarely understood. Many of us have learned how to live with discontent, becoming skilled at numbing rather than healing. Discontent, when ignored, does not simply disappear. It can settle into the body, quietly turning into dis-ease—manifesting as pain, illness, or exhaustion. While numbing may temporarily dull the ache, awareness has the potential to reveal what the pain is asking us to understand.

So why are so many of us in conflict—not only within ourselves, but with those who walk closest to us? How do we resolve conflict when change is needed, yet feels impossible? Inner change is rarely easy, especially when we are unaware of what we are protecting or avoiding.

Perhaps we are missing something essential in our understanding of happiness. We often look for it outside of ourselves or in temporary gratification. There are many things to acquire, many experiences to chase, many distractions that promise fulfillment. Yet none of these can truly fill an inner void that was never meant to be filled externally.

Relationships, then, must be held with care. They are not meant to complete us, but to reflect us—to reveal both love and the places still asking for healing. Maybe the world does not need another pursuit, another answer, or another escape. Maybe it needs a deeper willingness to look inward.

Jesus spoke directly to this truth when He said:

“The kingdom of God does not come with observation; nor will they say, ‘See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you.”
— Luke 17:20–21

If love is to be understood—even in brokenness—it must begin within.

In knowing yourself, you can then recognize what you’re seeking. Not as perfection, but as awareness. Not as avoidance of pain, but as the courage to meet it. When we look within, we may find that what we have been searching for in others, in circumstances, and in the world, has always been quietly waiting there.